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Revolting Cocks
Revolting Cocks – Sex-O Mixxx-O

1.    HookerBot3000 (tweaker mix) - Remixed by Chris Vrenna of Marilyn Manson
2.    Keys To The City (Invincible mix) - Remixed by Crabbi of Vileevils & Pop Will Eat Itself
3.    Red Parrot (Juarez Tunnel mix) – Remixed by MegaJive
4.    Robo Bandidos (A Chilling Effect mix) – Remixed by Doug Firley of Gravity Kills
5.    Cousins (Sexy Problems = Sexy Solutions mix) – Remixed by Clayton Worbeck and Josh Bradford of Revolting Cocks
6.    Touch Screen (Shower Strangulation mix) – Remixed by Luc Van Acker
7.    I’m Not Gay (I'm So Gay Club mix) – Remixed by Dave “Rave” Ogilvie of Skinny Puppy
8.    Abundant Redundancy (Clockworks and Cold Steel mix) – Remixed by Stayte
9.    Lewd Ferrigno (Club On mix) – Remixed by Andy LaPlegua of Combichrist
10.    Wizard of Sextown (Bisected Banshee mix) – Remixed by Seismologist

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. That’s the sound of Soundshock’s review machine flatlining. Yes folks, if Mastodon’s ‘Crack The Skye’ is undisputedly the best album of 2009, this abomination is by far the worst. And to be brutally honest, you’d probably get more pleasure hearing kittens being stamped to death in a hessian sack.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with remix albums - even though you’re more likely to agree to having a pineapple shoved up your arse pointy end first than find a good one – but this mewing abortion is even worse than most. Each of the remixes is done in such an atrociously cack-handed way you’ll be calling for the pineapple treatment long before the end of the first track. Note to future remixers – putting in piss weak synth and a drum beat so limp wristed it makes John Inman look like Mike Tyson is a recipe for musical AIDS. It’s a bit like if someone drove over your favourite childhood pet, reversed over it, drove over it again, then stitched it back together and presented the mangled mess to you with a little bow round its neck. And then raped your mum.

Even if you like the likes of VNV Nation or Combichrist, you’ll still be flinging this out of the nearest window – assuming you haven’t already smashed the windows and tried to gouge out your own throat with the shards. Please, don’t encourage them – don’t even download this album. We can beat this evil curse if we all stick together.

Reviewed by Steve Jones
‘Sex-O Remix-O’ is out now on 13 Planet/Megaforce Records.

- 4, 587, 737
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